10 Lessons Learned from the Greatest Christmas Movie of All-Time on Its 25th Anniversary
By: Jeff McDonough
My love for the Christmas season and loathing of Christmas things before Thanksgiving are equally potent. It’s for that reason that I’ve been pleased to see some stores have announced they are taking a stand against the recent trend of Black Friday sales creeping into Thanksgiving Day, and will remained closed that Thursday. The sales can wait ‘til Friday. Let retail employees have Thanksgiving off! Nordstrom has gone further saying they won’t even put up Christmas decorations until after Turkey Day. All of this is to say that it goes against a hardline stance I have to write this column, but the 25th anniversary of one my all-time favorite movies is a worthy exception.
Home Alone hit theaters on November 16, 1990. How old do you feel? It’s my assertion that this is the best Christmas movie there is. Yes, the story of a boy, who was left behind when his family goes on vacation for the holidays, fending off two zany burglars by using household items as deadly weapons. Talk about holiday cheer! I don’t think my family has ever gone a year without watching this move. It’s tradition. But it’s not just us. Home Alone remains the highest-grossing live-action comedy of all-time, earning about a half a billion dollars worldwide during its theatrical run. When you consider the drastic raise in tickets prices, the upcharges tacked on for 3-D and just general inflation — I mean, we’re talking about before I was born here! — that is a remarkable feat. If you look at the Top-50 films in box office history, after James Cameron’s Top-2 of Avatar and Titanic, every film remaining is either a cartoon or a blockbuster that’s part of an action-adventure franchise. So for a family Christmas comedy to have the run it had is telling. The film has of course lived on with home video and several TV channels playing it many times every Christmas season.
So I know I am not alone in my love for Home Alone. But what made this film so great? Why did it stay with so many of us all these years? For those answers, let’s get to the list!
The Top-10 Lessons Learned from Home Alone
1) This Could Never Happen in 2015
Let’s just start there. The whole inciting incident of the movie is that the extended McCallister family is trying to leave for a Christmas vacation to Paris and the kid that was asleep in the attic in not accounted for and left behind. Based on my experience with five siblings, as well as McDonough family vacations with upwards of 30 people, that part totally holds up. However, with the advent of cell phones, this movie is over in five minutes now. Anytime in the last 15 years, there’s no chance someone in the McCallister clan is not carrying a cell phone for Kevin to call. In 2015, he shoots her a quick text, “Hey Mom, you guys left without me LOL” and she immediately replies, “Smh brb.” You’d be surprised how many old movies would be ruined with cell phones.
In addition, Airport security
back then was nothing compared to now. Not only is this pre-9/11, this was
before the first bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993. Nowadays, they’d be
in such an endless string of lines and in between taking off their shoes, pulling out
their laptops or chilling outside Cinnabon for a half hour, one of the cousins
would’ve been like, “Bruh, where’s Kevin? This is so unfleek” or whatever. Actually,
since they overslept after the power went out and reset their alarm clock, they
would have probably just missed their flight today and none of this would’ve
mattered. Or just had an alarm on their cell phone. So let’s just enjoy this slice of ‘90s gold, a relic of bygone technical
wasteland, for better or worse.
2) The Best Movies are Utterly Re-Watchable
We all know Citizen Kane or Schindler’s List or Saving Private Ryan are amazing pieces of filmmaking. But how many Fridays are you and your buddies like, “Yo, let’s put on SPR and make a night of it.... Who’s ready for that Kane drinking game?” You want something more enjoyable. Everybody has their favorite parts, whether it’s the mad dash at the airport, Kevin’s unexpected friendship with Old Man Marley, when he’s reunited with his mom at the end for the sappier among you or anything involving John Candy. But for most of us, it’s the pranks. That’s the part we’re waiting for. We just want to see Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern almost die 20 times.
There are too many memorable quotes to count:
Keep the change, ya filthy animal! Kevin, you’re what the French call “les incompetents.” If he has something to drink, he’ll wet the bed. You guys give up yet, or are you thirsty for more? Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? Santy don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy. KEVIN!
But of course...
3) A Bangin’ Soundtrack is Key in Any Christmas Movie
The score by legendary
composer John Williams plays throughout the film, so obviously you’re comin’ in
strong any time you get that Williams bump.
The Christmas classics that play throughout are unrivaled by any other movie: Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, White Christmas, Please Come Home for Christmas, Run Rudolph Run, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. It’s not just the choice of song, but the artist and version that puts it over the edge. That version of “White Christmas” by the Drifters is so much better than the original. Then you throw in Chucky Berry, Brenda Lee, Mel Tormé, Southside Johnny Lyon and more. These are a staple on my Christmas playlist. I consult Home Alone for the correct version to choose. The sequel adds in any classics the first one may have left out: A Holly Jolly Christmas, Jingle Bell Rock, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, etc. — Shout out to a personal favorite, Tom Petty’s “Christmas All Over Again” Just put the movie on in the background during December when you’ve got stuff to do around the house and the songs are enough.
4) Low Stakes Violence is More Fun
Now to everyone’s favorite
part. The Wet Bandits are such amazing foils. We love watching them get bested
by eight year-old Macaulay Culkin and his bag of tricks. But we don’t hate the Wet
Bandits. They’re lovable buffoons — they’d be my choice to headline True Detective Season 3. We want Harry’s hat to catch fire or Marv to
get an iron dropped on his face, injuries that in reality could be lethal. But
not our Wet Bandits! They just pop right up and run into the next trap. It’s the same reason I watch
the Looney Tunes or professional wrestling. I like to see the high-impact
physicality — whether for drama or laughs — but without the consequences. Actual
gore in movies — let alone in real life — I have no stomach for. You can keep
your slasher films and your war movies and your gross videos of athletes
getting injured. Give me an anvil to Wile E. Coyote’s head, a People’s Elbow or
a paint can to the face any day.
5) Kids Movies Can Be Dark
Seriously, think about the
plot of this film. Parents leave country before realizing they’ve abandoned
their child. Child celebrates disappearance of family as a wish come true. Burglars
roam suburban Chicago neighborhood looking for easy targets (in hindsight, not
a great business model, as far as big money heists go). Child notices this and
instead of notifying the police, attempts to murder them. Burglars get mad and
seek to murder child as well. Good Lord.
By the time we get to the happy ending of the
family’s Christmas reunion, we’ve already lived through someone’s dark, twisted fantasy. Grantland (R.I.P.) ran a hilarious piece last year postulating that Kevin grew up to become Jigsaw from the Saw movies, and these episodes with the
Wet Bandits are where he first was able to act out his murderous fantasies.
Check it out, seems plausible.
6) Too Bad Acey Ain’t in Charge No More
You need look no further than
Kevin’s choice of holiday entertainment to notice that the kid may be a bit
off. The movie within a movie Angels with Filthy Souls sees Johnny — shortly
after taking over for Acey it seems — gun down Snakes with very little warning
over a minor financial dispute. Kevin famously uses the audio from the movie to
fool the bad guys… and to terrorize a random pizza guy for some reason. Home Alone’s sequel sees a Christmas version
of this gangster film, Angels with Even
Filthier Souls, where Johnny guns down his girlfriend this time. ¡Feliz
Navidad!
I mentioned in my Cubs column last month that the way I became a Cubs fan and how Chicago became
my favorite city all can be traced back to loving Home Alone as a child. This was the dream for any kid. He’s home
alone doing whatever he wants. He’s eating junk food, getting into his older
brother’s goodies and even sticking it to the bad guys. Kevin seemed like the
ultimate badass, fending for himself even in prepubescence.
So I was enthralled
with him, the film and its setting. They lived in this beautiful house in the
Chicago suburb of Winnetka, which in real life sold a few years ago for
$1.5 million. The family races through O’Hare Airport in both films, something
I’ve done myself — albeit in slightly less dramatic circumstances. There’s the charming
Midwestern accents of the locals. The gangster movie we just mentioned even
harkens back to Capone era baddies. The film has the quintessential Midwestern feel
that Chicagoans love, and Chicago Magazine
recently published a great oral history of the film. The coup de grâce of all things Chicago in Home Alone
is without a doubt the iconic scene when Kevin attempts to trick the Wet Bandits
into thinking his family is home, in part by putting a life-size cutout of
Michael Jordan on a toy train set.
8) Art Can Imitate Life
The way I’ve been able to experience Chicago is by taking several trips there with my mom while she is out there for work. So her and I share that Chicago connection, but that is not all. The mom from Home Alone, Kate McCallister, reminds me so much of my own mother. Her general appearance and style in the first film is so akin to my own mother’s — whose name is Katie, funnily enough. Only the hair color is off. Beyond that, her screams and frantically ruthless chase to be reunited with Kevin is eerie based on many experiences in my own life. Even their relationship of bickering at the beginning and then being sweetly reunited holds true to me. While watching the movie does sometimes give me war flashbacks, the character of Kate is incredibly relatable in my household. Anyone who knows my mom and hadn’t thought about this is freaking out right now. KEVIN!
9) Sequels Don’t Have to Suck
I am a firm believer that the sequel, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, is actually better than the first movie, despite the fact that he is neither home nor alone. He spends Christmas in America’s most populous city. But there is so much to love about it. He’s older and feistier! And you thought it was dark last time, the Wet Bandits aren’t even after his money now. They’re just bent on bloodthirsty revenge. Thusly, the pranks are more brutal and funnier. Tim Curry as the uppity concierge is maybe the best casting decision ever made. He listens to orchestra from the attic of Carnegie Hall with a homeless lady! Both films are great, and yearly staples, but I gotta say, I ride for 2.
10) It Really is the Most Wonderful Time of the
Year
We’re ending sentimental here.
Despite all the eyebrow-raising destruction that I outlined above, there really
is a nice message. Don’t take your family for granted. For some reason, he
needs to learn this two years in a row, but hopefully it stuck after 2. He’s a
spoiled brat, but when he’s without his family, he realizes that all he wants
is for them all to be together on Christmas. His interaction with Old Man
Marley in the church on Christmas Eve, encouraging him to reunite with his son,
gets me every time as well. If it wasn’t for moments like these — the heart
that carries the film — I don’t think we would keep letting this little blonde sadist
into our living rooms every year.
Thanksgiving... I would like to personally apologize for this column. I couldn’t hold out two weeks longer. And after writing this, my switch has officially flipped. I love the holiday season and now I’m ready to throw on Home Alone and drink some eggnog. It’s official. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas... And with this movie’s
25th anniversary, those of you from my generation, we’re beginning to look a lot like adults... Yikes.
P.S. - This Home Alone “Honest Trailer” is a must watch!
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